Talking to Myself and Feeling Fine

Nia-Alyese Boyd | 5 minute read

Talking to Myself and Feeling Fine

Nia-Alyese Boyd | September 16, 2020 | 5 minute read

The average person doesn’t know what to think about the Covid-19 pandemic. We are having to choose between isolating ourselves from family, work, friends, and social activities and taking risks to enjoy the slightest bit of normalcy left in the wake of coronavirus-19.  Everyday decisions can become life or death defining moments. 

It is so easy to get frustrated right now. One of the ways I’m getting through this period of confusion is by talking to myself.  I do this to affirm the goodness within and around me and to remind myself to practice healthy habits.  With tensions being at an all-time high, publicly and privately, it’s no wonder that my favorite self-talks start with “Be patient” and end with “See how much easier it is when you just think through it?” 

To be clear, I am talking out loud during these conversations and yes, sometimes, that realization cracks me up too.  Still, hearing my own voice calms me when I need calming, coaches me when I need to organize my thoughts, and instructs me when I need to stay on task.  Listening to myself is a great way to reflect on the responses I generate in the moment because I am forced to think before I speak – to others, that is.  Talking and listening to myself has become a form of mindfulness that I can practice daily.

One unexpected outcome of this practice is that it has led to better self-care such as eating for health, exercising more, and being more present in relationships. Of course, it is easy to get distracted by the outside world, so I am continuing some of these important conversations with myself through reflective writing or journaling.  My thinking is clearer and more focused because of these self-talking and self-writing practices. 

From time to time, most of us have been embarrassed when caught talking out loud.  In fact, I used to believe that anyone who did this regularly had mental or emotional issues. I don’t believe that anymore.  Now, I understand and believe a flippant comeback I remember from childhood. When smart folks were caught mumbling aloud someone would say, “You do know you’re talking to yourself, right?” and they would reply “Yup; that way, I’m always guaranteed an intelligent response.” 

Health experts agree that talking to ourselves is a smart thing to do. It helps strengthen our mental dexterity resulting in improved problem-solving and coping skills.  I am certainly finding that to be true. Also, having an out-loud conversation with myself is fun, instructive, and therapeutic; all of which is needed, right now, as we figure out how to simply be during this real-time crisis full of stress and anxiety. I suggest giving this self-soothing and self-affirming practice a try.  Pay attention to the times when self-talk occurs naturally. Note how helpful it is with reducing stress and achieving mental wellness in the moment. Extending these moments into daily practices will leave you centered, calm, and focused. If you find yourself creating positive affirmations that you regularly speak aloud, that’s a great thing! 

In these times of unparalleled uncertainty, positive self-affirming statements repeated regularly can help eliminate negative thought patterns, reprogram your subconscious mind, boost your confidence, and inspire you to act on goals you may have abandoned.

About the Author

Nia Boyd has a diverse background in education, social justice scholarship and pedagogy, intuitive counseling, and holistic healing.  Establishing and maintaining a sense of community is paramount in her work with individuals and teams seeking optimal success with work/life balance, conflict management, compassion in work-related missions, and writing projects.  Currently, Ms. Boyd works with Hurdle contributing to their original content as a writer, editor, and thought partner.

1 Comment

  1. Keith

    I love this article it is spot on as to what I do myself and as the writer (Ms Boyd) says it has help me focus more on what is important at a particular moment


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